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Le gasp! HEATHEN! HERETIC! The Great Empire of Tea Drinkers swore a vow to protect our realms from coffee consumers and hot chocolate hoarders! Prepare for a verbal lashing! ~ Fusty-Dudget, twas the foolish one. Coffee he believes, the beverage which won! There is a saying in my land, one you can't ignore! So listen carefully fool, I'm sure you've heard before. "Caffeine is bad for you!" A drug on the mind. Sickness which stunts growth, doesn't sound kind. So back away from me with your vile drink. A tea lover like me, we think it stinks. Dare we say, our merits hold high! Leaf juice it is, said to come from the sky. Gifted by Gods! Truth be told, what are the odds? A mere mortal shares their splendor... ~ So tell me coffee barbarian. What makes your beverage so superior? 🤔 |
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le holiest of gasps! Coffee is sublime, it is my fuel each and every morning! Without coffee I could not finish school, I could not go to work! Without coffee I would wake up and go right back to sleep! It is superior to tea in all ways, tea makes you sleep! So tell me not what you wish tea would do for you, but what coffee CAN do for you. Switch to coffee I say! For it is superior without a doubt to your stale leaf water. It's taste is so rich and bitter, yet sweet and comforting. If it hasn't touched your tongue I feel sorry for you, there is nothing above the joy of a good old cup o' joe |
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Cup O' Joe? A silly name. Ripe for the picking, don't you know? Your precious drink comes from beans, Ya know it comes in the word through questionable means? Civets, elephants, and vile plantations. Cup o' Joe down the drain. Your insistence is insane. Fraud. Your logic flawed. Tea brings energy, sleep, calm, and peace. Coffees only energy beggin' for release. Stale? Lies. Put a little milk and honey, big surprise! What's the disguise? Coffee needs sugar. LOTS OF SUGAR. Without, what is it fool? Well let me tell you something... Its bitter and cruel. |
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This sugar you speak of is not in mine I say! I keep it cleaner than your mind I like it straight up, mixed, or blended I am not picky if its splenda It may not be quite as healthy But your tea tastes like pee It's gross It's bland It might as well be banned I think your tastebuds must cry and plea So they cant even taste an icee Coffee is wonderful Coffee is grand And I never plan To say goodbye au revoir hasta la vista I love baristas I love my beans So don't even think To reprimand me |
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...What have I witnessed. |
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Bravo! Marvelous verse. How hard was it to rehearse? Your skill with the pen is truly mighty... But the Wintry King bears a sword. Truth be told your words are fierce - defensive, musta struck a cord! En-guarde. I strike once with a fury. Coffee is gross, should discard. Dear me! Crossed a line, hurt your feelings? So strike back hard. Bear arms against me, and show me your metal. A single breeze from me, you'll wilt like a petal. Your coffee, it's a wonder for the basic. Talk it up like it's the best, are ya blind? Let's see, I can help you with your LASIK? Show you the truth, I'd much be inclined. Let's clear the air, pull up a chair. Let history do the talking! Enough of this incessant squawking. Now my friend, riddle me this? History's a struggle, practically an abyss. But how many wars has there been over coffee? 🤔 Ha! None. Preposterous as it is, it seems the game is won. Unless you beg to differ? |
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It's called Flyting. Rhythmic insults... Medieval rap battling. The Bards used to love this shit back in 1430... xD
Magena said:
...What have I witnessed.
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I know what flyting is! But only from a game XD I'm just slightly confused on how it started here, but it's very entertaining. |
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Ah. Tea v. Coffee.
Magena said:
I know what flyting is! But only from a game XD I'm just slightly confused on how it started here, but it's very entertaining.
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Kings of Winter~ said:
Ah. Tea v. Coffee.
Magena said:
I know what flyting is! But only from a game XD I'm just slightly confused on how it started here, but it's very entertaining.
Heh I didnt even know flyting existed until you said it just now lamo, I just responded to the challenge 😂 I'm very entertained And imma write a good response now |
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Spring 
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