Because that's where I was eating it.

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Why did you eat that leaf?

Because I thought it would be good for a salad. I was wrong.

Why do you have a wheelbarrow full of clocks?

I thought I could make a belt out of them. It was a waste of time.

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why are there pieces of melted plastic in your pocket?

Long story, but it was evidence of the burning of my entire garbage can. I didn't want the neighbors to know.

Why did you take 52 minutes to eat a hamburger?

I'm a slow eater. How dare you shame me in my own home?

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Why did you eat that clock

Because I was told time is a good seasoning. I think I may have misunderstood.

Why are all of my blankets in your car?

My car was cold this morning, what was I suppose to do. Use a coat??

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Why did you put a 1943 St. Louis Southwestern Railway Steam Locomotive No. 819 in my living room??

It looked like a good midnight snack. Why else would I put it there?

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Why did you drink melted rubber?

I was trying to waterproof my internal organs. ;-; I figured if I coated my stomach in premium-grade Michelin tire juice, I'd finally be able to handle taco bell's Inferno sauce without seeing through time and space.

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Why did you try to power your entire house using only the static electricity from a colony of very confused hamsters in tiny wool sweaters??

To make the power company and PETA very, very upset.

Why did you think eating that glowing rock was a good idea?