Ainsley: I think it’s time I get my life in order.
Rica, narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.
______

This is better LMAO

Ainsley: Know why I called you in here?
Rica: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic.
Ainsley: *Stops pouring two glasses of wine.* Accidentally?

---

Ainsley bragging about his bf

Ainsley: Rica likes to win. When they were 8, a little Club Scout friend of theirs bragged they could sell the most cookies.
Ainsley: Damned if Rica didn't walk the neighborhood till they got blisters on their feet, and won by 10 boxes.
Ainsley: Best part is, Rica wasn't even a Club Scout.

Ainsley: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am.
Rica: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

Ainsley: Okay, I’m going to get the wedding cake.
Rica: Perfect, while you do that I’ll check on the ring bear.
Ainsley: ...
Ainsley: You mean ring bearER, right?
Rica: ...
Ainsley: Look me in the eyes and tell me you are not going to bring a dangerous wild animal to our wedding.

---

Rica: Ainsley is playing hard to get.
Rica: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

---

Ainsley: I fell—
Rica: From heaven?
Ainsley: No, I literally fell—
Rica: In love with me the moment you saw me?
Ainsley: MY ARM IS BROKEN!
Rica: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

*Rica is speaking on the phone*
Rica: Yeah, I'm with Ainsley.
Ainsley: Im fucking dying-
Rica: Yep, they're okay.
Ainsley: I have a knife in my chest!
Rica: No, they can't talk right now. They're sleeping, sorry.
Ainsley: IM BLEEDING OUT-
-----

Rica help your partner >:(

Rica: Talk dirty to me, baby~
Ainsley: The dishes.
Rica: Wh-
Ainsley: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

Ainsley is such a mood in these-

Like they capture her bitchiness perfectly.

Rica trying to be a good bf but failing is relatable

Rica: Hello Ainsley, made anyone cry today?
Ainsley: Sadly, no. But it’s only 4:30.