Gwyar ‘Aries’ Ariethous Fraoch | Male | 17 | Demisexual | Ambi | Physical - Weapon Knowledge | Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

“Don't worry about it! No need to apologize, ya've done nothin' wrong, I just asked your name 'cuz I'm not the best at rememberin' names and things. I'm doin' good!”

--

Gwyar ended up flinching twice, staying a good bit more tense than he would’ve liked after the second one. So Briar did know and was just willing to play along..? He bit his tongue, trying to force his shoulders to relax back to how much they were normally relaxed. Which, to be fair, still wasn’t too good but at least better than this. This was too obviously because of something and he’d rather not get into any trouble due to rules he didn’t know about yet.

--

“This place really is huge! I can't wait to go explore it, after training I mean! I think Horatio said something about an underground system? I don't really wanna go there without proper guidance though, so I'll probably just explore the upper floors for now! They're big enough as is! And since Horatio said it's all a circle and whatnot, I can't get that lost... I think. Doesn't matter though, I'll be fine! Oh, hey, do you wanna come with? Only if ya want to of course, but company might be nice! Oh, uh, sorry if I'm talkin' too much or somethin', you can tell me to shut up if I get too much, I know I can be annoying.”

--

The words caught his attention, dragging him back from where he hadn’t even realized he’d been beginning to breathe unevenly. He focused on the words, on what Briar was saying, and managed to even out his breathing while his mind was listening to the rant.

--

The last bit seemed a bit odd. Briar definitely wasn’t annoying. Besides, telling a person to shut up? That was basically asking for reprimand and punishment. So was arguing or disagreeing with a person though. Was he just supposed to ignore the last part then? Answer the idea of exploring with him? That seemed like an alright idea for now. “If you want me to explore with you, then I wouldn’t mind. Would be a good way to get familiar with the building.”

*~*~*~*

Gen’ya Hiei Hikari | AMAB Demi-Boy | 17 | Apresexual Demiromantic | Ambi | Trust/Truth - Lie Detection / Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

“I'm sure they won't be too rough on us on our first day. Though, if they are, I'll certainly be annoyed. This outfit is not made for running. Actually, I'm not made for running. I might be dead by the end of the week.”

--

Gen’ya nodded in agreement, amusement twinkling in their eyes, a small grin on their face, “Same here, I’m afraid. For the sake of our lives, we can hope they don’t make us run today.”

--

He was honestly a bit glad that Micha seemed a bit more comfortable now, though he wasn’t sure how much of the comfortability was actual relaxation and how much of it was faked in order to make him more comfortable too… Or to seem sympathetic or kind. He pulled at his sleeve a bit on reflex, pulling it over part of his hand. The less seen the better. For just in case if the relaxing was because of some sort of obligation Micha felt instead of actually being comfortable around him.

*~*~*~*

Revan Rafe-Hassen Rowland | Male | 18 | Gay | Ambi | Space - Alter Gravity | Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

Yet again, the voice of the one walking beside him… The ‘Nico’ person. Took far too long to register in his mind. It was annoying, not being able to immediately answer like he should be able to. To not be able to simply hear and respond at his usual pace. It was pathetic, demeaning. And the fact that he had to answer was even worse. He had work to do, he didn’t want to be answering meaningless, pointless questions.

--

“Really? You've gotta have some interest! I, for one, very much enjoy free things, they're the best kind of things! What do you like, then? Other than work and coffee, I mean, you have to have some sort of hobby, even if you don't get to do it much! I like reading!”

--

Revan almost paused in his walking as he thought of an answer, trying to keep his feet moving and eyes on his phone. Which, honestly, was an issue of its own because he was having a hard time reading what it said and focusing long enough to type anything. But he had things to do, and they needed to be done.

--

The question was odd though. Because the more he thought about it, the more he tried to come up with something… The more he came up blank. He knew he had to have something that he did, otherwise he surely would’ve finished his work already. Right? Or he was just that slow. Was he just that slow? What did he do when he wasn’t working?

--

That thought almost made him laugh. Which he quickly decided was due to lack of sleep, because he wasn’t one known for laughing. Or even coming close to laughing, ever. But the fact of the matter was… He wasn’t ever not working. He always had something that needed to be done. Between online high school classes, online college classes, and an actual job- All of which he was supposed to do the best in? He was constantly busy. And he preferred to always have something to do. It was better than not having anything to do. It was better than being useless.

--

He still had to answer though. So he forced an eye roll, and huffed silently. “I prefer to focus on what’s actually important.”

--

The question did remind him, at the very least, that he needed to check his class rank again. Make sure he was still in place to be valedictorian.

Gwyar ‘Aries’ Ariethous Fraoch | Male | 17 | Demisexual | Ambi | Physical - Weapon Knowledge | Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

“Oh, really? Yeah, that would be awesome!”

--

Gwyar nodded along, grateful that he hadn’t accidentally done the wrong thing. Then again, Briar hadn’t sounded as happy as the words were. But what had he done then? He couldn’t ask, that would just make things worse. He was supposed to be able to tell when he did something wrong, no one wanted to explain what he’d done to him.

--

But he didn’t know. He really didn’t know. He wanted to know. Wanted to make sure he didn’t do whatever he’d done again.

--

Silence lapsed though. Silence that had him stuck wondering what he’d done wrong this time. He couldn’t break the silence. That was never wanted. That was never good. No one ever wanted that. People punished that.

--

Briar had stopped walking. Gwyar stopped beside him, casting a worried glance. What had he done? What did he cause? Was Briar upset? Were they mad? What had he done? What did he do? What does he do now? Could he apologize? But he’d need to be able to say for what, and he didn’t know. Why didn’t he know? Why was that out of grasp? Why couldn’t his mind connect? Why couldn’t he understand?

--

He knew why. Of course he knew why. He winced, trying to hold back on apologizing right then and there. Because he would still need to know why. Because he didn’t know what he’d done. Because he wasn’t- He- Hands gripped the handles to the daggers that were at his sides, fiddling with the ribbon tied around their handles. The purple ribbon of Tereus at his left, the red one of Tereine at his right.

--

They were there. At his sides. Everything was fine. No one was hurt. He’d messed up. He’d messed up. He could fix whatever he’d messed up though. He could. Definitely. Tereus and Tereine. They were there. They had names. They weren’t- They were fine. Everyone was fine.

--

“My name is Briar Sallow, I'm 17, I... I like parties and animals, I'm apparently the manipulation holder of Earth… I-I'm in this big, weird place... Fuck… I'm fine. It's fine. Everything's fine. Obviously. Why wouldn't it be? It's all totally fine!”

--

Briar speaking tore through his mind, quiet but sharp. Like a knife or dagger. The words made him tense, and wince. Flinch. Because, yes, he’d just been thinking that. Everyone- Everything was fine. And why wouldn’t everything be fine?

--

The words crawled in his mind, as if made specifically to target him- To target- To target- I- Fingers fiddled with the handles, fiddled with the ribbons, feeling the crevices and bumps. Tereus and Tereine. Tereus and Tereine. They had names. They had names. Tereus and Tereine. They had names. They deserved those names. Tereus and Tereine. They had names. Tereus was a brother. Tereine was a sister. They had names. They were daggers, they had names.

--

“Sorry, I don't know what got into me there! Do you, uh, think they got a mirror in the training room somewhere? Think I messed up my hair or somethin'! Anyway, yeah, let's go exploring together tonight, that oughta be fun! We can figure out what all the rooms and shit are!”

--

Words cut through the fog again, flinching in surprise. A breath, fingers fiddling with the ribbons, a glance at Briar. Trying to process the words said.

--

Answer. The need to answer. There were consequences when there wasn’t an answer. Answer. “Uh- Maybe? Sorry, sorry…” Hands tightened around the handles, fingers messing with the ribbons. “There’s probably mirrors somewhere…”

--

Slow motion. Blurry. Couldn’t— Tereus and Tereine— breathe. “Explorin’s good. Yeah.” Apologize. Caused this. Messed up. Couldn’t be fixed. “—Sorry… Could go right after trainin’.” Training. There was training. Training meant fighting. Fighting. Couldn’t- There was too much. Too much. Everything was fine. Totally fine. Obviously fine.

--

Breathing was hard. There was plenty of practice in being able to keep walking though. So everything was fine. Everything was fine. Get to the training room. Training. Training was normal. Familiar. Training meant fighting. Fighting meant blood. Blood meant death. That meant killing. Didn’t want to— Grip on handles tightened. Where— The choker felt too tight. But everything was fine. Everything had to be fine. Briar said so. Briar was a person. People were right. People had brains and minds and the ability to actually think. So Briar was right. Everything was fine.

*~*~*~*

Gen’ya Hiei Hikari | AMAB Demi-Boy | 17 | Apresexual Demiromantic | Ambi | Trust/Truth - Lie Detection / Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

“That would be a tragedy indeed.”

--

Gen’ya nodded in return and… The two lapsed into silence. They cursed silently in their head. They undoubtedly had ruined it. Any chance of making a friend here. They should’ve been expecting this though, to be fair. Friends were for other types of people. People that didn’t get nauseous just because they looked in the mirror. Or thought of looking in the mirror, if the slight nausea feeling forming was anything to go by.

--

Stars, why was he so repulsive? Conversation wouldn’t be so hard then. Nothing would be as hard then. He’d be able to talk to people, he’d be able to exist in front of other people without being judged for everything, just- Everything would be better if he wasn’t as revolting as he was now. Which, he was getting there- Right? He was getting there. Just a bit longer and he’d be there. He’d get there… Hopefully. If it was even working at all.

--

“So, uh, what are your hobbies? Like, do you like to read or like certain movies or things?”

--

Gen’ya looked over to Micha from where they’d been messing with their sleeves, which were both covering practically all of their hands. “Ah… I like reading poetry a lot, and I play the guitar as well. Mostly my hobbies revolve around poetry and music, I suppose. What about you?”

*~*~*~*

Revan Rafe-Hassen Rowland | Male | 18 | Gay | Ambi | Space - Alter Gravity | Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

Revan felt terrible, as he continued to walk, trying to keep his eyes on the screen of his phone so he could get something done. So far, his brain wasn’t wanting to listen to him when it came to focusing. Which is what he blamed, a faulty brain, when he didn’t hear what ‘Nico’ said until what had to be several seconds after it had been said. At the least.

--

“I find mental and physical health rather important. Work is important as well, of course, but I find that the work done tends to be much better when one has an adequate amount of sleep and food in them. But what would I know?”

--

His teeth gritted, he felt dizzy, he stayed standing. He huffed, speaking before his mind truly caught up. His voice was tired, flat and almost venomous. Almost. Which was good enough for him. “Not much, apparently.”

--

And then he was mentally kicking himself. Because that is not how he should’ve responded. A more intelligent response would have been better. A more informed response would have been better. More respectable. He bit his raw tongue for a moment, and then forced himself to speak again. His tone detached, a bit more placid. “Don’t get me wrong, what you mentioned is important. But work is what allows one to fulfill the other two, so it will always take priority. Especially in the present day.”

--

That seemed better. Even if his heart wasn’t truly in it. Sincerely, he didn’t really care all that much for anything that wasn’t his work. Or simply making sure he didn’t sleep. Ever again, preferably. He’d rather not hear the screams and pleas of people he’d once known. Of the people he killed…

--

He held back a wince, tightening his grip on his phone. He felt nauseous. He chose to blame it on the lack of sleep. Which he chose to blame on being busy. Which he chose to blame on… The universe. That worked. Sure. Whatever didn’t make him spiral.

Gwyar ‘Aries’ Ariethous Fraoch | Male | 17 | Demisexual | Ambi | Physical - Weapon Knowledge | Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

Couldn’t focus. Couldn’t breathe. Everything was fine. Everything had to be fine. Briar said everything was fine. Everything had to be fine. If everything wasn’t fine, then Briar wasn’t being listened to. People had to be listened to. People knew what they were talking about, people were capable of thought, people had to breathe and eat and- And- And weren’t to be questioned- Because people were people– Like Briar. And Briar said everything was fine. That- That it was fine. So it had to be fine. It had to be. Forcefully, hands let go of the handles to daggers. Tereus and Tereine.

--

Briar was smiling, still walking. They obviously knew. They had obviously known the whole time. That it wasn’t– That it couldn’t– It still couldn’t breathe, things didn’t need to breathe. Tereus and Tereine didn’t need to breathe, it didn’t need to breathe. It needed to follow, listen to Briar. The person who knew what it was.

--

“Yeah, yeah, you’re probably right! Okay, that sounds good, fun, yeah, we’ll… We’ll just go after trainin’! Probably not doin’ much today anyway, so we’ll have energy and shit left.”

--

…Do what again? Training. Training, it knew what training meant. But Briar was talking about doing something after training. Did the content matter? It had to agree, Briar was a person. It didn’t have a say. It shouldn’t have a say, things don’t get a say. Why would things be given a say? It didn’t know, because things didn’t get a say. Because things can’t think. So there was no decision that a thing could make. Even if things could, that wouldn’t matter. It had to listen to people. That’s what things did. Listen, do as told, not question people. It wasn’t allowed to question people. It just needed to listen.

--

“Wonder how many secrets are ‘round here! There ought to be a lot with how big it is and all, I mean, there’s got to be a bunch of little hiding spots and all!”

--

Was Briar talking about it? The wording didn’t quite make sense. It tried to listen, tried to understand. Things couldn’t understand though, so the fact that it didn’t made sense. Why would it? It was a thing. Of course it didn’t. It wasn’t expected to, because it couldn’t. It still listened as Briar spoke, because it needed to. It had to. It was supposed to. Looking for secrets or hiding spots made sense at least, even if it didn’t know where Briar was trying to look for them. It didn’t need to. Wasn’t that part of looking for them, anyways? It wasn’t sure, it didn’t need to be.

--

“Maybe there’s some data ‘bout aliens and shit, that’ll be cool to look at! Maybe there are some history books around? I love some history!”

--

Data and history books? That made sense. Looking for that made sense. History was good to read. Things can’t read, things aren't supposed to read or be able to read. But it could find books for Briar to read. Briar liked to read about history, it could find them books. It liked history. Didn’t it have history books?

--

…It wasn’t supposed to. It wasn’t supposed to own anything. Things couldn’t own other things. People could. Things can’t. Only people can own things. But it could give the books that it had to Briar. Correct that issue by giving the books to Briar. But what kind of history books did Briar like? All of the books it could give to Briar, should give to Briar, were about battles. Were about wars. Not to mention what it had done to the books. What had it done to the books again? Something. Something wrong. It could apologize, though, about the limited books. About whatever it had done to the books. And Briar could punish it as fit. To make sure it didn’t do whatever it had done again. That would work.

--

“Cool to read about, some battles and stuff ‘specially!”

--

Well, that was one worry answered. It didn’t need to worry about Briar not liking the books that it could give them. Would give them. There were other books in the room it had been placed in too. It could give those to Briar as well. There shouldn’t be anything wrong with those books. Right? It could apologize just in case, Briar could deal with it appropriately. Either for wasting their time with an apology if there wasn’t anything wrong with the books, or for whatever was wrong with the books if there was something. That was fair. That would work.

--

“An’ this is all new history, like, stuff they don’t teach in schools and shit! I wonder how many species there are that we didn’t know about before! I’m sure a lot!”

--

Why was Briar saying ‘we’? The only person there was Briar. Briar wouldn’t be referring to it as part of that. Why did Briar say ‘we’? There wasn’t any reason to. It wasn’t… It wasn’t a person. It was like Tereus, or… Or Tereine. A thing. Those things had names though. Those things were referred to as ‘them’ whenever it spoke of… Them. If it was like Tereus and Tereine then… It could be part of the reference. It had a name. It had told people a name before.

--

“Sounds hella exciting!”

--

It glanced over at Briar, they were willing to say we. They were willing to use the same system it used with Tereus and Tereine. It needed to act accordingly, if Briar was willing to pretend it was… Was like them then… It blinked a bit, watching Briar. They seemed… Not too okay. But Briar had said everything was fine. Right? When? Had they? Things could change anyways, right?

--

…Could things change? Could it change? It doubted that. But things could change. So if things could change but it couldn’t…

--

Briar wasn’t doing alright. That fact remained. They seemed stilted, almost. Like something was wrong. It didn’t know what. Briar had been talking to it though, and had gone silent. Were they waiting for a response? Had it missed something new? Could it still mention the books? It needed to help Briar, that fact remained. It had to help people. Especially people that knew. Those were always important people.

--

It blinked, nodded in agreement to whatever Briar had said last. Something about excitement. Something about the excitement with learning or books or something. It could still mention the books. “It…”

--

It paused, hearing it aloud. Spoken. By it. It switched up. What name did it use? It’d rather that. Tereus and Tereine used names. Briar was willing to pretend. To go along with it. Didn’t it use— No. No, it wasn’t there right now. It usually didn’t use that name anywhere else. Was— No. It didn’t use that name anywhere… What else— Oh. Maybe? Worth a try? “Aries… Can provide history books…”

--

It paused, saying the name allowed felt odd. Seemed odd. It didn’t make sense. But Briar had been willing to play along by saying ‘we’. So it was fine to pretend too. Right? It could always apologize. It decided to clarify on why it had books, it needed to. It wasn’t supposed to own books, it wasn’t supposed to own anything, after all. “Brought some. Those can be given to…” It paused, it didn’t have a title to use for Briar. It could apologize for using their name if they decided it needed to. They could punish it accordingly if it was supposed to use something else. “Briar.. You. So that you have history books to read.”

--

Everything seemed stilted still. But the response had been given, and it didn’t think it had done anything wrong. If it had then it would easily apologize and take whatever punishment it needed to take. But the response had been given, and the response had been to the point and easy to follow and would give Briar what they wanted. So it succeeded. Right? It hadn’t messed up terribly, at least. The response would help Briar a bit, at least… Right? If nothing else, it had given Briar a justification to let out steam and anger on it. That was always helpful.

*~*~*~*

Gen’ya Hiei Hikari | AMAB Demi-Boy | 17 | Apresexual Demiromantic | Ambi | Trust/Truth - Lie Detection / Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

“Poetry is really cool! I also love music! I guess sewing and drawing would be my main hobbies, though! I really like creating things, especially clothes, and stuff. It’s quite fun and, when I don’t make things for a specific person, I can just give my work to people who need it! It’s always fun to see people enjoy something I create, I guess. Especially if it’s helping them somehow.”

--

Almost surprisingly, there wasn’t much silence this time. As if the earlier lapse hadn’t been because of Gen’ya. He hadn’t really expected anyone to share his interests, or to be able to bounce back from the awkwardness he’d caused as quickly as Micha seemed to have been able to do so. Despite himself, he felt a small smile growing on his features. “Fashion is quite interesting, I’ve tried a few times to get into it. Admittedly, though, nothing had really been that successful. Plus, the fabrics and all can be quite costly. Very noble reason for your enjoyment though, I admire it. Do you have any specific cuts, types of fabrics, or types of clothes that you enjoy more than others?”

*~*~*~*

Revan Rafe-Hassen Rowland | Male | 18 | Gay | Ambi | Space - Alter Gravity | Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

Revan honestly wasn’t sure why everything seemed so hard at the moment. Sure, he’d stayed up for about 80 hours at this point- Was it 80 hours? For some reason it felt longer, seconds dragging. But that was the problem. He’d gone longer before, he’d gone way longer before. He was fine. He shouldn’t be this far along at this point. Only sleeping by losing the fight to exhaustion shouldn’t have taken a toll on his capability to stay awake for longer without these issues, at least not by this much. And yet, here he was; eyes refusing to focus on just about anything, mind refusing to process the words and numbers on the screen of his phone, mind refusing to process the words that ‘Nico’ had said next to him– Wait, ‘Nico’ had said something? He blinked, trying to get his mind to work well enough to go back and process whatever had been said.

--

“Sure, just don’t work yourself until you go braindead or keep yourself awake so long that you can’t walk in a straight line anymore. Other than that, though, just do what makes you happy, I guess. What you have to.”

--

When his mind finally did, Revan almost laughed. Almost laughed. At how absolutely, utterly, completely stupid that all was. Because wasn’t that all the point of what he was doing? To make sure he got plenty done before he inevitably died far too early for most, and yet far too late for him.

--

But he didn’t laugh, because he was too busy pausing from the fact that he almost had. Because where did that come from? He knew he’d once been neck deep in… That… But he wasn’t!- He wasn’t actively, at least- He blinked away the subject itching in the back of his mind. He just needed to ignore it. It didn’t matter why he was doing what he was doing, it was necessary. Regardless of reasons or outcomes. It was necessary.

--

So he forced his mind back to the words that had been spoken, forced his mind to let him focus enough to let him get his own words out, forced his tone to hide as much of the exhaustion as he possibly could. Any other tone was fine, just as long as it didn’t show how much he… Not wanted, because he didn’t want to sleep. But how much sleep tried to call. “Aren’t those contradictory?”

--

That worked. That was fine. Stick to the fault of others. To the misstep in ‘Nico’s statement. So that any of his literal, actual missteps would be ignored. Overlooked. As long as everyone else was being looked down on, being questioned, they couldn’t question him. Look down on him. They’d be too busy defending themselves, after all. Too busy in correcting, clarifying, defending. Everything would be fine. It had to be, he didn’t have the ability to deal with any less at the moment. It felt pathetic, but he really didn’t.

Gwyar ‘Aries’ Ariethous Fraoch | Male | 17 | Demisexual | Ambi | Physical - Weapon Knowledge | Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

Silence lapsed. Had it said something wrong? Did it need to apologize? Probably. But it wasn’t supposed to speak unless spoken to. But what had it done? Was it the name? Was it not supposed to pretend along with Briar?

--

“You don’t have to give them to me if you don’t want! I mean, I really appreciate the offer, but they’re yours so if you do lend them to me or somethin’ I’ll give ‘em back! You’re really kind, thank you, Aries!”

--

That was confusing. That was just for show, right? Because other people were nearby. Because it definitely wasn’t supposed to have books. It definitely wasn’t supposed to own anything. It tilted its head, eyes narrowing and eyebrows furrowing in confusion. That had to be for show. Had to be a lie. Right? That wouldn’t make sense otherwise.

--

Briar lifted a hand, stared at their hand. It stared at their hand too, trying to figure out if the answer to its unstated question was there or not. It couldn’t tell. Briar seemed to find something though, bringing their other hand over and digging into something. A shape, on their wrist, deliberate and impossible for it to fully make out what the shape even was. But the shape was there.

--

“But, uh, ya like history too, huh? ‘Cause you have all those books, so does that mean yer interested?”

--

It’s eyes snapped back to Briar, carefully placed away from their eyes. Eye contact wasn’t allowed unless specifically told or asked. It knew that. It also knew it needed to answer the question. What was the right answer though? It wasn’t supposed to own books, but Briar was asking if it also liked history. It couldn’t agree to owning books, it wasn’t allowed to own books, but it had to agree to also liking history. It was supposed to like whatever people liked, and Briar liked history, so it had to agree.

--

“Sorry.”

--

For a moment, it thought it had spoken. And then it realized that that had been Briar. That it hadn’t said that. It hadn’t said anything. It had messed up. It had been supposed to say something. It didn’t know why Briar was sorry, but it did know that they weren’t supposed to be. Because only it was ever at fault. A faulty tool was always more likely than a faulty person, after all. A broken tool was more likely than a broken person.

--

It needed to remedy this. Whatever it had caused. Whatever it had failed to do for them. It couldn’t disagree though. It couldn’t tell them they were wrong. People weren’t wrong. Go back to the subject of history then. “History is good, you can learn a lot. And most of the information is interesting too.”

--

It needed to push a bit more. Give the books. It wasn’t supposed to own anything. It needed to make sure it wasn’t breaking any rules. Only irreparable tools broke rules. Irreparable tools are thrown away. Or used for scrap. It needed to listen. It still couldn’t disagree directly, could only give encouragement. “You don’t have to give the books back, by the way. Aries already read all of them, so doesn’t need them. Briar, you, do.”

*~*~*~*

Gen’ya Hiei Hikari | AMAB Demi-Boy | 17 | Apresexual Demiromantic | Ambi | Trust/Truth - Lie Detection / Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

“That's true, fabrics can be costly, but, if you'd like, I can make you something? I've got basically every fabric in every color you can think of, and I won't be offended if you don't like it or something! Experimenting is the best thing you can possibly do style-wise! As for specific cuts, fabrics, and clothes, though? I quite enjoy off-shoulder, high neck, and halter cut, though it really depends on the person! Cashmere is my favorite type of fabric, go figure, it's the most expensive. I also like most types of silk though! I think, for clothes, my favorite to wear would be skirts and sweaters, but my favorite to actually make is definitely dresses! There are so many different styles, and they're great fun to design and put together!”

--

Gen’ya paused, but Micha had been honest in the offer. They wondered about the motives, in the back of their mind. But really- It wasn’t anywhere near as present as it normally was, especially with the bright smile Micha had given them. They were almost never on the receiving end of those types of smiles, and it seemed genuine, at the very least.

--

So he smiled, nodding along intently. “High neck cuts are quite good, though I wouldn’t trust an off shoulder or halter cut for myself…” He paused, narrowing his eyes for a moment before continuing. “Cashmere is a great fabric, and certainly at least one of the most expensive ones. There are a ton of different styles of dresses, though I’m sure you’re great at making them. Sweaters would probably be my favorite to wear.”

*~*~*~*

Revan Rafe-Hassen Rowland | Male | 18 | Gay | Ambi | Space - Alter Gravity | Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

Was not being able to process words for far too long going to be a theme? It seemed so. At least to Revan. Because the words only echoed back and made contact with his mind whenever he forced himself to try and make it do just that. Which, frankly, he really didn’t want to. Not with how hard walking was already, not with how little he had managed to do. He needed to work, to focus and type and work and finish these reports because if he didn’t then when there were five more tonight he would be completely outmatched and his efficiency would decline and he would fail and have to play catch up and his mother would notice and he would— He would—

--

He breathed, wishing for more coffee to help him focus, trying to drain whatever was left from the cup. And then realized he had missed a lot. He forced his brain to go back, to play catch up on whatever ‘Nico’ had said.

--

“They can be. But they don't have to be. Survival is often torture, of course. There's no way anyone can deny that, but… If you like to survive, that covers all the bases, right? It's not easy, far from it. It takes time, effort, I get it, you don't just become happy, a lot of times you don't like to survive, but making yourself miserable because you think you have to doesn't help anything either. Then again, making yourself miserable because you know you have to isn't any better. At that point, there's a bigger problem.”

--

And when his mind finally did manage to process all of it, Revan wanted to shut it down. Because, well- No thank you? He felt tense, more than he already was. Like the person beside him had managed to tear him open and was trying to peer inside him. He forced himself to believe that the second person point of view usage was just a tactic. A tactic used so that whoever was listening to the words could detach it from the speaker and assign it to themself. Honestly, it probably was just that. After all, there was so much missing from what was actually going on with him.

--

For one, he wasn’t doing this because he thought or knew he had to. Secondly, he wasn’t miserable. He only felt miserable right now because… Because of the fact that his work was getting interrupted. Yes, of course, that was it. And thirdly? He didn’t deserve to be happy anyways. He didn’t. He couldn’t. Not after everything he’d done. Not after everyone he’d killed.

--

He could’ve kept going, and he probably would’ve, if not for the tightness in his throat. The quickly forming lump that he wanted to forget and throw away. Because he didn’t deserve that either. So he pushed it down, eyes narrowing onto the screen of his phone as he tried and tried to do something. Before he realized that ‘Nico’ had said more, but he had missed it, so Revan forced his mind to go back and process it.

--

“So, what kinda coffee ya like? And don't just say black, I know that much, I mean, like, what's the best brand and whatnot? I'm not too cultured about coffee, after all. Gotta get some professional advice!”

--

And… There was no way Revan would be telling them anything about what brands he drank. When he was actually looking for brands, that is. Usually, he didn’t. He looked for Robusta beans and that was it. But, on occasions when he did look for brands, he did have three he tended towards. Death Wish, Biohazard, and Devil Mountain. None of which would be something to tell ‘Nico’, given the names alone. He dealt with enough scorn from his mother about them, he didn’t need more. But he could say something at least, if only so he could give ‘professional advice’, especially if he was going to have them get him things and all.

--

He sighed, “Fine, I won’t just say black. After all, white coffee is best. As in, a light roast. Either lightly roasted Robusta or dark roasted Robusta, medium roasted tend to be not enough in either direction. Lighter roasts have more caffeine and darker roasts have a stronger flavor. When it comes to brands though, this is the best advice I can give from a professional point of view… It’s not something I usually look at. I look for keywords such as Robusta, or light roasted, or premium, or finely ground, not for brands.”

--

Hopefully, they wouldn’t dig too much for brands. Hopefully, the conversation didn’t last much longer. Hopefully, they wouldn’t try to go back to the previous topic. Revan certainly didn’t want any of that. He wanted, and outright needed, to get work done.

Gwyar ‘Aries’ Ariethous Fraoch | Male | 17 | Demisexual | Ambi | Physical - Weapon Knowledge | Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

“Yeah, yeah, history's cool.”

--

It nodded. It needed to agree, but it hadn’t been asked anything. No reason to speak more. It wasn’t supposed to speak more. Briar hadn’t given it permission, hadn’t told it that it could, hadn’t asked it any questions that it needed to answer.

--

“But they're your books, right? You own them, I won't take them from you.”

--

It tensed. It wasn’t supposed to own anything. Briar had to know that. They knew what it was, after all. They had to know that it wasn’t allowed to own anything. Why would it be? Things didn’t own other things. That wasn’t possible. It couldn’t own anything. It wasn’t supposed to own anything. Anything it had was owned by someone. Anything that was in its… Well, what could barely be called a life, since things weren’t alive. Things weren’t alive. Things didn’t have a life. Anything in whatever this was that it had, was owned by someone. By a person. By someone that had a life, that was alive, that wasn’t a thing. It knew that Briar was willing to pretend that it wasn’t a thing, but to that extent? That wasn’t- That wasn’t right. It needed to warn Briar of that, like it had to before with other people. Sure, it would get in trouble but that was better than a person getting in trouble.

--

“I... Uh, I mean, you're really kind, I 'preciate it an' all, but I don' wanna take 'em from ya. I'll, uh, borrow 'em if, uh, if tha's okay, but I'll give 'em back an' all…”

--

It flinched. Harshly. And then was stock still other than its continued walking. It had taken too long to answer Briar. Had taken too long to correct Briar. Had the question just been a test? To see if it would admit what it was? To see if it would correct them? Had it taken too long that Briar decided that meant that it thought itself higher? Thought itself better? Thought itself a person when it wasn’t? Had it taken too long that Briar decided that meant that it thought itself above punishments? Above them? Above what it was, what it would always be? Had it taken too long that Briar decided that they weren’t willing to pretend?

--

That had to be what had happened. Nothing else made sense. Those were the only answers. It had taken too long, and now Briar wasn’t willing to pretend. But that couldn’t be the only punishment for its mistake. There was always more. There had to be more. It deserved more. Being unwilling to pretend was just a given, no one should ever be willing to pretend. All that did was make it more prone to mistakes, to believing it could ever be anything more. It wasn’t. It couldn’t. There had to be more than that to the punishment. It deserved more. It needed more. To make sure it wouldn’t mess up again.

--

“'S okay.”

--

It barely registered the words, too preoccupied in trying to figure out what else the punishment would entail. Though it didn’t really deserve to know, did it? It didn’t. It would find out. All it could do now was apologize, beg for forgiveness, tell them that it wouldn’t make the same mistakes. Not everyone responded well to that tactic though. Where did Briar fall? What would make up for its mistake best with Briar? It could try multiple tactics, see what worked. But too much would be seen as pathetic. But- Wasn’t it? It had messed up, after all.

--

It forced its breath to slow from the relatively normal rate it had managed to keep, wrongfully so. Things didn’t need to breathe, it didn’t need to breathe. So it needed to stop. It needed to stop as much as possible. And it needed to apologize, to reaffirm what it was so Briar knew that it did know. That it didn’t think that it was what it wasn’t. “Sorry. It’s sorry. It knows it’s not…”

--

It’s not what though? What is it supposed to apologize for first? What is it supposed to reaffirm first? Not being allowed to own books, not being a person? Books first, that was what Briar had originally been speaking of. “It’s not supposed to have books. It’ll give the books to you. People own books. So- So it’ll give the books to you. You can have them, keep them. You can own them, since you’re- You’re a person. It’s sorry for- for not… For- for trying to pretend that it’s- For trying to pretend it could be- That it could ever be-”

--

Speaking was hard, every word seemed airy. Like it was wheezing it out. It didn’t need to breathe. It wasn’t supposed to need to breathe. It felt like it needed to, the suffocating feeling of not breathing was too much, it took a large breath on accident. It wasn’t supposed to. It dug into the palm of its hands, it just had to listen. How hard was that? How hard was not breathing when it wasn’t supposed to? It didn’t need to- It didn’t. Things didn’t. It should just shut up, focus on not breathing, focus on listening, focus on not making even more mistakes.

*~*~*~*

Gen’ya Hiei Hikari | AMAB Demi-Boy | 17 | Apresexual Demiromantic | Ambi | Trust/Truth - Lie Detection / Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

“I can make you a cashmere sweater if you'd like! I've got some fabric left over and I've got some connections, so it's not as expensive for me anyway! What're your favorite colors, and is there a specific style or design you'd want? I plan to make everyone at least something eventually, so don't feel like you're being a bother, m'kay? I find it fun, after all!”

--

Gen’ya looked at Micha, trying and failing to find any lie in what he’d said. They found themself holding back a smile and a grimace. The offer was nice, and completely uncalled for, but Micha was planning on making something for everyone anyways. So it wouldn’t be right to refuse the offer. And it was an incredibly nice offer, an offer he didn’t deserve but a nice offer nonetheless. Besides, Micha had said to not feel like a bother, that everyone was going to get something. So there was no reason to be this conflicted about it. “Thank you, and that’s very kind, I’m sure everyone will like whatever you end up making for them. I suppose my favorite colors would be purple, red, and black. Just about any shade of them too.”

*~*~*~*

Revan Rafe-Hassen Rowland | Male | 18 | Gay | Ambi | Space - Alter Gravity | Mentions; Everyone(Dir/Ind).

--

Revan’s eyes continued to refuse to focus on the screen in front of him, did he need a new prescription for his glasses? Great. One more thing to add to his ever growing to-do list. Unfortunately for his eyes, it was at the bottom of the list. It’d be a waste of time to schedule an appointment, go to the appointment, and wait for the new prescription. Not to mention the numerous nuances in it. A waste of time, a waste of money, a waste of everything. He had too much to do as it was. He couldn’t let his eyes get in the way. Besides, there was always the chance that it was just due to lack of sleep. He didn’t have time to fix that either.

--

The heels were starting to get annoying, but he couldn’t sacrifice the height. It’d be less professional. He needed to get taller ones anyways. What good was he if he couldn’t deal with this? He needed the height, he needed more height and if he couldn’t deal with these heels right now then how was he supposed to deal with taller ones? If he couldn’t deal with heels, how was he supposed to deal with anything else? Heels were supposed to be easy, one of the easiest things to deal with. If he couldn’t even deal with heels– He glanced over at the person walking beside him, hoping for some sort of distraction from a spiral over heels of all things. He was better than this, he was supposed to be better than this. Luckily enough for him, ‘Nico’ had apparently said something that he’d missed during his internal debate about glasses and heels. So he forced his mind back, forced himself to figure out what had been said.

--

“Sure, light roast and Robusta, got it! I didn't actually know light roast has more caffeine, interesting! So, uh, is there a particular place you like to buy coffee? Like, someplace with better prices or something?”

--

He blinked a bit as he processed the words, trying to get them to stick to his mind. The brands hadn’t been dug for, luckily. Instead they were asking about prices and places. As if those were a concern for him. The idea was absurd. He rolled his eyes, shaking his head lightly, regretting both immediately as he forced himself to ignore the subsequent dizzy spell as much as possible. He forced his mind to wrap itself around the subject enough to form a coherent, professional response. “Not particularly. I don’t have to worry about prices too much, after all. Why?”

--

In truth, the question was a last minute add-on, an afterthought to add simply because… Well, because if ‘Nico’ began to rant then he could ignore them and try to do some sort of work. Or could force his mind to try and focus on something, at least. Or he could actually learn some good information about ‘Nico’. Not that he cared about them. Definitely not. They’d just met, and Revan didn’t get attached to people. Period. It wasn’t an option for him. He just preferred to have information on the people that were going to be around him more than he’d like for them to be. It was easier to find ways to keep them at a distance that way.