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 ~♥Nux♥~
11:04:18 You're just yellow
Will

I hate when sensories collide
 Thanksgiverbeast
11:03:25 Will
@Seeker

Except it isn't
I *love* caviar. Haven't had it in years, but I can do caviar, probably because they're firm and pop?

But the tiny boba are squishy ToT
 Eastern_Scree
11:03:04 
It really is sad. I work in a vet hospital and I've had more huskies, Dalmatians, and chihuahuas try and take my face off than anything else, but I've never seen any legislation about them.
 Sherwood Wolves
11:01:30 
I bred my male wolf to another members wolf and I think it died :Â’)
DidnÂ’t even think that was possible
 ~ Seeker Hive ~
11:01:25 Soundwave
will

it's like eating caviar
 Thanksgiverbeast
10:56:09 Will
Ok update

I *think* that I hate tiny boba
They're the perfect texture
but also having so many in your mouth is the worst texture ever
 Salem
10:52:58 Floating pencil
-WP Click-
 Thanksgiverbeast
10:51:20 Will
With everything going on in the US

I highly doubt a federal law relating to dog breeds is gonna come out :'D
 Dont Fear The Reaper
10:50:12 Reaper / Grim
I hate to leave in the middle of the discussion, but I have to start heading to my next class, I'm sorry guys
 ~♥Nux♥~
10:49:03 You're just yellow
Reaper

Yeah, so blaming a human for the dog being aggressive is like blaming a human's mistakes on mommy issues. Sure, may be the case sometimes, but not every time.
 Thanksgiverbeast
10:48:28 Will
Today I learned that tiny boba pearls exist...
I cannot tell how I feel about them
 Purgatory
10:47:16 Purgatorio/Purge
It's actually not being enforced, the bill won't pass. Americans don't give a shit what type of dog you have. This is a rumor going around social media for some reason. Not truth. The law actually restricts the ban on breeds like pitbulls, german shepherd, etc
 Dont Fear The Reaper
10:47:02 Reaper / Grim
Nux
Yeah, that's how it is with all animals on the planet
 ~♥Nux♥~
10:45:39 You're just yellow
I breed American Bullies, and I can state with confidence, that while some people feed the dogs attitude or aggression, but some dogs are aggressive by nature. Now, by saying that, not ALL dogs in the breed are automatically aggressive. Pits tend to be territorial and possessive, so people tended to use them for fighting, which is how they earned their rep for being an aggressive breed. I've had pits that were the sweetest things, and then I've had some that aren't. It's just like people. Not all of them are bad, but accassionally there's a Ted Bundy or Jeffery Dahmer in the mix.
 Dont Fear The Reaper
10:45:31 Reaper / Grim
Yellow
...I cannot deny that XD
 teddy
10:42:16 its yellow
reaper
that sounds like a very american thing to enforce lol
 Dont Fear The Reaper
10:41:41 Reaper / Grim
Yellow
Interesting, the one that's been trying to get passed in the US has dogs being euthanized. If it looks like a bully, it's dying
 teddy
10:38:47 its yellow
which*
 teddy
10:38:32 its yellow
reaper
they arn't slaughtered. It breeding, selling, buying, trading ETC witch is banned. the current bullies may live out their lives. Though, a lot of especially brits euthanised theirs (out from their own choice)
 teddy
10:36:32 its yellow
but this is also stated on the UKC webpage "Above all else, the APBT must have the functional capability to be a catch dog that can hold, wrestle (push and pull), and breathe easily while doing its job. Balance and harmony of all parts are critical components of breed type.

"

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Forums > Socialize
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I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 22, 2022 08:42 PM


Firefox

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 3137
#2780784
Give Award
I crave validation, nah XD just kidding, although that is partly true. I am mostly looking for contrsuctive criticism on my writing, I see something wrong with it, I aim to get better.
So with that let me just link some examples and I would like it if y'all could comment some tips/criticism. (Compliments are okay also)
~~
Examples.
1. Raina's Story Wrote this today in my spare time-
3. took me four hours I need someone to proofread or something- help me out Raven's Story
~~
Let me know if The links don't work so I can fix them-
And note to the mods, I had no idea where to put this, if it's in the wrong sub forum please move for me, thank you.

Edited at June 23, 2022 01:19 AM by Firefox
I need opinions/tips on my writingJune 23, 2022 06:49 PM


Yuketa

Neutral
 
Posts: 1585
#2781080
Give Award
You could practice writing similes and integrating idioms into some places, if preferred.
There was an exercise we used to do in Creative Writing where the teacher would put up a picture on the projector screen of a location, like a cabin in the woods, or a marketplace, and we would write out a scene while incorporating the five senses into it.
"The woods were a little musty, and Aril observed particles of dust as they floated down the citrine sunbeams, like little boats cascading in slow motion down a titanic waterfall. It was just cold enough to make the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, and dull whatever he could smell of the place, but there was still that faint scent of an unnatural... thing. Something ancient and rotting, and not quite chemical although he almost tasted ammonia in the assaulting concoction. It was a substance hidden within the magical pretense of the abandoned cottage. He felt the coin in his pocket, his good luck charm; it had been with him through the ages, and its faces were worn smooth by his fiddlings. With a couple circles of his thumb over its edge, he hoped it would see him through to the end of this situation, too."
I'd write more but I just woke up and am headed for work lol.
One other piece of advice I guess is, read literature that you like and would want to emulate in your own writing, dissect it, even. What makes this scene powerful/emotional/feel hazardous? Are the protag's goals being realistically hindered by this or that, and are the stakes high enough? Etcetera.
Good luck!

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