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Lightbringer
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Neutral
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Probably, yeah, lmao
Determined_Wolf said:
Wait I should post-
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Neutral
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Determined_Wolf said:
Okay so- True and fun story! I play as a half-orc farmer (who also was forced into canibalism) who is a bard who plays the harmonica, right? Totally normal. Anyways, there are four of us in our group but two of our party members don't show up so we go on without them, making it just me and my girlfriend. Now, being the little shits we are, we decide to make everything so much harder on our DM. I somehow managed with my high charisma and constant 20 rolls to break us into a highly fortified city by not sneaking it or doing an entire side-quest, but by talking to the enemy to let us in. Later, I convinced these guys guarding a cool building to go off and get drunk by using my girlfriend's character's spare stash of heavy beer she always. Sneaking inside, we steal a very cool sword and translates the ruins to see that it is a fire sword. We convince the guards we made a replica of the fancy sword and left to meet back up with the leopard. You could just see our DM's face in pure shock as he whispered: 'none of this was supposed to happen but it did.' Anyways!! Cal would probably be either a bard or a warlock with a very strange relationship with their deity. As for race probably a dark elf cause he's tall and emo or just a normal human.
The dice gods are fickle creatures and do not discriminate in who they screw over. I once played a combat encounter where the player characters were supposed to lose. We were a party of four. A ranger, bard, paladin, and wizard, all third level, against twelve kidnappers of various races. SOMEHOW the DM rolled either under tens for nearly every attack roll, or was fighting our 19 AC paladin. While our bard (Who had never played a bard before, btw) rolled three nat 20s in a row on attacks, our wizard max-damaged a level two magic missile against the strongest enemy, the paladin broke bones with her big-ass tower shield, and my ranger terrified the enemy by vanishing into the nearby trees/rocks/bushes and then jumping out a turn later to surprise ambush literally everyone. Let me tell you, a +8 in Stealth is horrifying and nobody should have that kind of power, especially when the enemies had like 8s in passive perception and were constantly being slammed with all sorts of debuff spellfire from the wizard and bard. They would have been traumatized for life if all twelve hadn't died. |
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Lightbringer
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Oh my god I almost feel bad for the kidnappers because holy shit that would be terrifying- |
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Neutral
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I mean, they were part of a slaving ring so their deaths were all justified. As soon as the seventh died, the last five tried to run. Unfortunately for them, our bard player rather favors assassins and rouges, and had a bunch of special 'definitely not napalm' bottles. Seeing the attempt to flee, he tosses the 'not napalm' at the opposite end of the alley from the end we were trapped in. So it was either take a chance running through greek fire or try to dodge past the three guys left fighting- wait wHERE'S THE RANGER! They were all supposed to be like 5th level, I think the DM said. The campaign was SUPPOSED to go kind of like so: ~ Player party gets hired by a minor noble to check out why the citizens of his town were disappearing. The party shows up, investigates for a while, does the whole detective schtick. Depending on how well we rolled, how obvious we were in looking, etc., the party might get targeted to keep the secret. Eventually the party would find that a slaving ring was operating in the town, with the backing of a rival noble house to get rid of the guy who hired the group. ~ Of course, our lawful good paladin basically marched up and down the streets, banging on doors, asking for information. So, lo and behold, two days later we get ambushed while passing through an alleyway. But, while our paladin was about as unsubtle as fifty pounds of C4 going off five meters away from you, she was also impossibly paranoid. She never took her armor off, always had at least two separate weapons on her at all times, and was more trigger-happy than a drunk redneck holding a semi-auto shotgun and infinite ammo. Her character made a Perception check every 30ft, it's an actual requirement of her character's personality. So, obviously, miss never-sleeps zeros in on the kidnappers and warns us, so their surprise round was gone. Then the wizard targeted the kidnapper's own magic-user, who was attempting to put us all under a sleep spell. You know the rest. I could not stop laughing. There wasn't even a lot of cover in the alley, just a couple of clotheslines and a balconey. My ranger climbed the walls like the monkey she is and it was honestly hilarious how none of the kidnappers ever noticed that she was going to the same exact hiding spot, each and every ambush. In the next session, we all saw that the DM had brought a different set of dice. ~u~ |
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Neutral
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This is great and gives me so many ideas. I'm playing a lawful neutral cleric named Zao soon and I am very excited because well, I'm certain with as many players as we have- It's going to be very funny to see the DM struggling to keep up with everything. |
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Neutral
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Remember to make your DM suffer at every opportunity, kids! Because you know they've already planned out your own eternal torment. |
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Lightbringer
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My DM is probably going to try and kill of my two cats and child so I am making him suffer before that happens- |
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Neutral
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*Sits in corner knowing nothing about D&D* Lmao |
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Lightbringer
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Sorry if this was rushed! I only really had a little bit of time to do my post, but hopefully this works! And Memery we are dragging you into D&D there is no escape. |
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Spring 
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