I have just returned from staring at asphalt for roundabouts twelve hours and have not slept for a further thirty-something of the same. I no longer fear not god nor consequences. I will not appologize for this.
~
Anamosa Traffic Cop: S-sir, please, can you get down from ther-
Tyler, carrying a ridicolously ornate kingly scepter: gO FORTH, MINIONS! tAkE bAcK tHe SuRfAcE wOrLd!
Anamosa Traffic Cop: Please, sir, could you just get off the-
*A swarm of various bird species decend from on high with a mighty squack*
Random Observer: oh gOD THEY'RE PECKING MY EYES!
Anamosa Traffic Cop: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY CALL OFF YOUR BIRD ARMY!
Tyler: I WILL NEVER SURRENDER!
Anamosa Traffic Cop: *Pulls regulation tazer* SIR I WILL BE FORCED TO USE MY TAZER ON YOU IF YOU DON'T STEP OFF THAT FOUNTAIN AND COME QUIETLY!
News Reporter in the Background: As you can see here, John, this brave police officer, new to the force, is confronting that psycotic bird criminal alone with nothing but a tazer. Backup is en route, including both SWAT officers and a troop of National Guardsmen. Hopefully the situation can be resolved quickly! We'll be staying on-scene to continue bringing the story to our viewers! *News crew ducks as a perfectly organized flight squadron of pidgeons dive bomb them*
Tyler: BE FREE MY FEATHERED FRIENDS! TAKE BACK YOUR LAND FROM THE HUMAN OPPRESSORS!
Random Observer: But you're a human!
Tyler: squaaaaaAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKKKKKKK! *A Great Grey owl begins assaulting Random Observer*
Random Observer: *Is Owlsaulted*
Tyler: FEAR ME PUNY MORTALS!
Anamosa Traffic Cop: DISCHARGING! *Fires tazer*
Tyler: ELECTRICITY HAS NO EFFECT! LIFE IS NOT A POKEMON GAME, YOU FOOL! *The bird-nado grows*
*Police & national backup arrives, all aiming various heavy firearms at Tyler and the swarm*
Tyler: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! NOW SUFFER FOR YOUR ARROGANCE! ALL SHALL SUFFER FROM THE BIRD FLU! MAY YOUR WINDSHIELDS BE FOREVER COVERED IN BIRD SHIT! I CURSE YOUR FAMILY NAMES SO THAT ALL YOUR LINE MIGHT... (Continues)
Ethan: *Walking up to the cordon of guns* Who thought it would be a good idea to give TJ caffine? And then leave him alone? *Peers through the bird storm* Oh dear lord, he has injected himself with espresso, what the fuck, where did he even get that IV? *Now activly addressing the officers* 'Scuse me, coming through, thank you for your service, nice tie my dude, outta my way! *Bursts through the still-processing gun wall* SIT!
Tyler: *Drops to the ground, because he knows not to throw hands at a mildly dissapointed Ethan, much less an actively angry one, even when running on fifteen minutes of sleep and enough caffine to fuel three whole universities worth of med-school students*
Ethan: Good. Now appologize!
Tyler: *Toeing the top of the fountain* i'm sorry...
Ethan: We're going home. Heel!
Tyler: *Whispering to the still utterly baffled SWAT and Nation Guard* i will hunt you down and cover your underwear in rat shit.
Spring 
Day Weather: 
Light Rain
