Hm -

the storyline and plot is awesome, that so much is clear. I love the little nuiances in the language - it really gives a unique feel to the story, and by fleshing out the world with language, it gives it a sort of depth.

The actual writing is good, but I think there may be times when more description and figurtive langauge would do you well.

How dare you notice my weaknesses-

heh

I mean, I have a 30 some page packet on literary devices if you'd like! It sounds daunting, but it's actually pretty helpful heh

Yes- give muah

Awesome

it's currently 1:15 a.m. and I can't sleep so it'll have to wait till morning eheh

Don't you dare post with Alta- Rache's existing and I'm not gonna re-write anything if you make a new post-

DP

Hehe

I though about it, but I don't want to kill my brain writing a post on an iPad lol

Heh- Murder Rache has appeared-

If I make another character for this RP I'm calling him Frog-