Trigger Warnings:
Swearing
Depression (I guess)

I don't know why I am writing this. I really don't. Just causing myself to cry and sob, yet, I'm still writing.

Its been a week, or two, I don't fucking know. I just have to get it out or something.

I. Jesus christ. Can't even start the first sentance.

I lost my best friend. I fucking lost her to a couple fucking morons who were looking down at their damn phones rather then the road. Just why. Just why. Do people really even care? Do they? I sure don't know. I've been asking myself for the past 2 weeks. Does no one care anymroe though? Is social media SO important, you can't even look up where your going? Is it that hard to look? Is it that hard to look away from your phone? I don't get it. Honestly. Reality is way worth more then a screen.

She was my friend.. she was my world. Every time I'd drive down that driveway, I'd see her wagging her tail, I'd see her trotting up beside my Surburban following me, wagging that tail of hers. She didn't stop wagging, even when I opened the door and jumped out. I never had a friend like that. I never had a friend like that. As soon.. as soon as I'd open that door and jump out, she'd jump up-

she'd jump up placing her paws around my chest... and she would- she would hug me. That dog physically hugged me, she hugged me. She hugged me.. I never met a human being, let alone a dog that could hug me like that. I never felt so amazing in my life when my puppy would hug me.

Everytime I would wake up in the morning, and walk outside, I'd see her in the Front Field, her field, staring at me.. wagging that tail of hers over and over, playfully growling, just waiting for me to come over and pet her. Just for me to come over. That is what kept me going. That is what kept me happy.

That night.. I was upset, and it was cold out. I had put Storm in the Garage so she would be warm.. and I-.. I didn't say Goodnight. I didn't even fuckings say goodnight... and two hours later, someone drove in the driveway with a light out. Two gusy walked- they walked down my driveway, asking me.. if I had a white dog- and I looked over to the Garage to see the door open.

I didn't even answer them, I ran, and I ran, and I ran.. I ran down that driveway, up the road...... only to find my best friend- lying on the ground.

Ever since that day. I can't seem to find myself sleeping peacefully, knowing that it was my fault she got out in the first place. If only I closed the door, she'd still be here, and I would be holding her by my side.

Every night I hear a jingle of a collar.. and only Storm's collar would jingle like it, and I swear to god, I could see her out my window, wagging her tail.

In the end. All I want. All I want is my dog back.

Lately. I've been seeing her out in the fields, just out of the blue, I'd see her running through teh fields, and I wouldn't think twice about it and I would just shout and call her name for her to come over and hug me. And when I'd call her name- she'd disappear, and I am reminded she is gone.

I don't know what I'm gonna do honestly. I don't know.

I needed to get this out... I dont know why but I did.