Wolf Play : I dont wanna be a broke college student :)
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 Rogue Whispers
03:39:43 Phoenix, Rogue
I've only really gotten two good wolves from Wolf Party:
-WP Click-
-WP Click-
 Voxtexy
03:39:41 Vox, Corey
I have Cigarette *^*
-Click-
 BooJake
03:39:04 Don't call me BJ.
Anyone got anthro characters I can practice anthro anatomy with?
:^
 Sabbath
03:39:01 Rook
The relief I feel knowing I'm not the only one omg
 Amygdala
03:38:42 Amy/Anpmygdala
Sabbath
Same...i miss them to sometimes...especially waterfall one in forest
 Existence
03:38:02 Exist / Kuskyn
Vox that female is gorgeous super lucky ^^
 Hallow's Eve
03:37:51 Hallow, Eve
Sabbath

I totally agree with you. I struggle with the lines during winter
 Boo
03:37:48 Chrissy
rook,
that's my roman empire. 🧑‍🦯
 Voxtexy
03:37:36 Vox, Corey
I have one goal on WP... breed or get a 59R AC wolf via wolf party.

I've gotten to 57 rarity, which is so close *^*
 Sabbath
03:37:17 Rook
guys maybe it's a skill issue on my part, but I have a hard time seeing the explore lines during Winter sometimes >.<

I'm in tundra trying to finish a quest and I'm getting lost as hell
 Amygdala
03:37:17 Amy/Anpmygdala
Glad to make you guys laugh lol

I think i need a bigger keyboard on my phone...i miss letters all the time lmao
 Blood lust tide
03:36:34 BewareWhoYouTrust
Sound like bears are ganging up lol
 Voxtexy
03:36:19 Vox, Corey
-WP Click-
-WP Click-
-WP Click-

My haul from round 5. the first two were ones that stole my apples when I was trying to use my coins before it was fixed lmaoo

The other 3 I got with coins are not worth showing. I booted them from my pack instantly lmao
 Anxiety
03:35:09 ancient as hell
'Dabbath' made me snort lmao
 Existence
03:35:01 Exist / Kuskyn
Level 56 and 49 enemies on reset this is just cruel.
 Amygdala
03:34:57 Amy/Anpmygdala
Sabbath
I am sorry lol
You know how many times i actually write that before correcting lol

It had to slip one day XD
 Rogue Whispers
03:34:38 Phoenix, Rogue
I think Amy glitched XD
 Sabbath
03:33:49 Rook
Dabbath? Changing my name expeditiously omg
 Amygdala
03:33:46 Amy/Anpmygdala
Sabbath*
Missed*

I think i need to sleep soon lol
 Magnus Bane
03:33:30 Mag/Maggy
Loving these talents

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Forums > Socialize
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I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:34 PM


Former Pack

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Posts: 0
#2846005
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Getting straight into it. I have this little scholarship essay, a looming due date, and nobody to look over it for me. Help?

Prompt: What are your education and Career Goals? How do you plan on impacting your community in the future?

Essay: Min- 250. Max-500. Current- 261

Revised: 258 words.

My name is []. I'm a senior at [] High School, and my goal, once I graduate, is to pursue an Associate Degree in Baking and Pastry Arts and a Bachelor's in Food and Beverage Management at [] & [] University. This will prepare me for owning my own business in the future. What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment. I then knew that, unlike other hobbies I had tried, this was what I truly enjoyed and wished to spend time furthering my knowledge of. When I first had the thought of owning my own business, I didn't think of doing much with it. Before long, I began to think of all the good I could do for those in situations that I could have been in, had I not been so fortunate. My wish is to create a community filled with acceptance and warmth by using any business I create. What I wish to do is hire certain nonviolent criminals and those who are beginning to age out of the foster care system, therefore giving a second chance to those who need it. This scholarship would allow me to gain the skills necessary to not only survive but thrive in my chosen field, as well as use my experience to help others thrive.


Edited at December 31, 2022 08:21 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:43 PM


Former Pack

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#2846007
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It's good, but I feel like there are still some things you could improve
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:46 PM


Wilted

Darkseeker
 
Posts: 376
#2846008
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Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 06:54 PM


Former Pack

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Posts: 0
#2846010
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It does help! Also, I wish I could ask a teacher to look it over but the due date is before winter break is over so most of my teachers aren't checking their email.

Wilted said:
Heyo, I would replace a bit of your wording;
"while also" -> "in addition to",
"Before too long, however," -> "Not too long after".
Apologies if this was vague or didn't make sense, I'm a little tired hehe. There's a whole list somewhere, but I forgot what it's called.
However if your school has a career center or similar, I do recommend going there or asking a trusted teacher!


I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:08 PM


Former Pack

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#2846016
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--

Edited at December 31, 2022 07:53 PM by Flower Field
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 07:20 PM


Wilted

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Posts: 376
#2846020
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Hmm, have you tried reading this out loud? There's a lot of commas/pauses. I wouldn't exactly try to compress everything into one sentence, as that can be a mouthful (brainful? I'm still tired).
Try splitting them up a bit?
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:30 PM


Former Pack

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Posts: 0
#2846032
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Try to change "What made me desire a career in this field? My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made" to:
My passion for baking made me desire a career in this field, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:33 PM


Former Pack

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#2846033
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Be sure to add a period between 'made' and 'the'
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
Should be
My passion for baking, as well as the sheer joy I felt when seeing others enjoy the dishes I made. The happiness that I was able to create using nothing but my hands and mediocre skills gave me a sense of fulfillment.
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:34 PM


Former Pack

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#2846035
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I'm just pointing out minor things that need to be fixed for now
I dont wanna be a broke college student :)December 31, 2022 08:35 PM


Former Pack

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#2846036
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Wow, kinda embarrassed I didn't notice I forgot a period lol
Also, I appreciate any and all help!

Edited at December 31, 2022 08:36 PM by Flower Field

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