My present to you. Merry Christmas <3
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Rose took Teren's words as personal failure. Now more than ever, she felt as if she needed to be perfect. And he had corrected her, which meant her answer wasn't perfect. Teren was indeed right, self-defense is an acceptable form of violence. Though as he continued to speak, Rose found herself mildly surprised. This was the first time he had spoken so much. Still, she wasn't about to answer him. Not when she didn't even know the answer herself. The young woman hadn't bothered keeping up with what the ranch taught, so now that she was a mentor, she was really just winging it. And shutting down anything negative seemed like something she should do. But maybe she was overkilling it? Rose made a mental note to ask her dad later about the ranch's teachings and policies.
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As Teren turned to glare at her, Rose barely bit down a nervous laugh. Ah, yeah, she should've expected such a reaction. Honestly she was grateful he had opted to only glare at her instead of lashing out or doing anything worse. She quickly dropped her hand, almost as if she had been burnt. But now her pulse wasn't only racing with fear, but with confusing feelings she wished she could shove back down again. Now, when Teren glared at her, she also saw the boy she had been mesmerized with as a kid. His name calling only drove the image home. Back then, Teren had been one of the few around her age. It didn't help that he was objectively attractive. So, in order to cope with the stress, she had latched onto him. Now Rose was struggling to separate her past feelings from the reality of everything else pressing down on her.
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The young woman didn't have the energy to reply to the boy, so as he looked away, she did too. Not that she had really been looking at him - at best she only caught his eye for a second before darting away again, and repeating the process. A dodge a weave, if you will. Her eyes had passed over his face a hundred times without landing on anything concrete. But as she looked away, her eyes finally stilled, locking onto the path leading up to the stables. If only she could just run right now and not have to deal with all this stress. Maybe she could flee to a different country, where her uncle couldn't reach her and she'd be free from anything remotely connected to her past. Her fingers tightened on her lunchbox, her knuckles whitening slightly under the pressure as she listened to Teren.
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At first Rose couldn't respond. Not when her chest tightened, not as it felt impossible to force even a sigh from her throat. Was she trying too hard? Is this all pointless? But then... As she thought about Teren being locked up for real, all the effort in the world didn't seem like enough. Whether she disliked her own feelings toward the boy or not, she knew she would regret not trying. Would regret not giving it her all to help the boy. "I understand." Rose murmured quietly, her head tilting back so that her gaze met the clouds in the sky. "But I'm not going to give up." For a moment, the scaredy-cat Rose was gone, replaced by the steely determination her uncle had taught her was crucial for being a good leader.
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Rose still had her problems - she probably would always struggle to even look at her mentee. But now she was ready to fully embrace helping Teren. Rose's mom was the light that guided her out of the darkness, and now she would be that light for the young man. "I know you'll fight me every step of the way, but I'll keep trying, no matter what you throw at me. So, get ready to be annoyed, because starting now I'm going to be your perfectly imperfect mentor." A small, hopeful smile pulled at Rose's lips. It would be hard, sure, but maybe this whole situation was a blessing in disguise. Maybe all this stress was a good thing. Maybe it would all amount to something, in the end.
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Teren is like a wild horse, Rose thought. He might act out, hurt people, run away. But underneath everything, he's probably just scared, and all he needs is a firm but gentle and patient hand to guide him out of the mud he's got himself stuck in. At least, that was a metaphor that made her feel more confident in being his mentor. Standing up, Rose climbed down the tree, trusting Teren to follow her. But as her feet touched the ground, her leg gave out, causing her to stumble a bit. Ah, the awkward Rose is back. It was nice while it lasted.