honestly I could probably write a psychological essay about my family drama with both sides of my family but I'll try to keep it short and simple
but I need to vent because this is getting ridiculous and it's really starting to emotionally hurt me.
I'm going to stick with my mom's side of the family since my dad's side has been quiet ( AKA well behaved lol )
So my one aunt is a narcissist ( well all 3 of my aunts are variants of that actually lol) who insists on monopolizing my grandmas life, like she downright insists that her children and grandchildren are above everyone else and about 15 years ago she brought her children up to grandmas house to start putting her & her children's names on things of grandmas so when Grandma dies they get everything that has there name on it.
like who does that? Especially when grandma doesn't even show any signs of kicking the bucket anytime soon
There's honestly more stuff that I could mention but what has finally just sent me over the edge is something that I know could/ would happen but I held out a small hope for it not to happen . I honestly blame the narcissist aunt for this, because when I was younger my mom really did try to get my grandmother to build a relationship with me but she was always busy with the other grandchildren ( or friends of hers)
now what is it you may ask? My birthday was Jan 15 , now we ( mom , dad & me ) were busy that day ( they took me to the casino, I had a great time) now during that grandma called and said she would drop off the card for me before she left the next morning to go to the narcissist 's aunt place because her grand child was doing a band thing that night ( not like she went to anything of my sisters's kids stuff or anything)
now here we are on Jan 19 and no card from her or any of the other aunts ( I'm sorry but I don't count happy birthday texts , explain why soon ) now I'm someone that if you tell me that you're going to do something and then you don't do it , I'm going to get upset because to me that means that I'm not anything important/someone that you care about . So her not dropping off the card when she said that she would, is very hurtful, not to mention that she's been doing stuff like that for a while now but I honestly thought that a birthday card would be a little bit more important. Guess not.
now why I don't count HB texts , I don't care if anything is in the card , but I want a card that says happy birthday from X , so I can look back and see " hey X sent me a card, they actually care about me enough to send a card" to me taking the time to send a card is worth so much more than " message from X [ happy birthday 🎈🎉] " that took all of 5 seconds
so I'm now at the point where I don't even consider my mom's family, family anymore because this was honestly the last straw and this is just the tip of the iceberg TBH like the narcissist is making things worse for my grandpa G who has dementia so there's that too.
like I will admit that I never really emotionally cared about them a lot but every thing that all three of them have done to me,dad , mom and my siblings has now pushed me to the point where I don't care about them anymore, as human beings I wish the best for them but as family I don't consider them as such
so I guess this is just my rambling thoughts on how I wanted to have a relationship with them but I never got given a chance ( plus I'm autistic and they don't understand or believe in that so ...) . So as I'm morning the lost relationships with my family I’ll leave a small upside that has cheered me up after all of this
so this old couple that are friends with my parents send me a birthday card every year , now I love getting a card for them because they put a coloring page in the card, ( see simple and meaningful) they've been doing it for years now, this year they sent a word search page, I was excited for that, so overall this old couple are closer to grandparent status then my actual grandparents , simply because they cared enough to send me a coloring page.
Fall Month: 1 
Night 
Fog Moon: 
