Gosh... Okay, I'm sorry, I just really need to get this off my chest. TW: Death

I got my dream horse this September. He was this absolutely stunning purebred Norweigian Fjord. I saved up for a year to make the purchase and shipped him from over 1000km away to get him. He was expensive. And my first horse that I owned entirely on my own. Not one that my parents half owned or anything, I was the current owner on his registration papers.

He was perfect in every way to me and I loved him so so much. I have a lot of other things going on in my life and he was a great distraction. I would go out in the paddock and spend hours hanging out with him, or grooming him, or riding him. I got to name him myself as well. My first real pet that I got to name myself. His name was August, Auggie for short.

Auggie was a bit of a brat, which is why I loved him. He would buck me off and run away just because he didn't want to work. I like challenges. But he had a sweet, soft side that came out all the time. He would play with me and give me 'hugs' and was always really excited to see me. He had more of a connection with me then our other horses. He was one of those heart horses, that you rarely find.

I hadn't been this happy with a horse since my old pony, Cody, who died when I was eleven. Cody actually died the exact same way, but he was only eight. He had been a fjord cross. Fjords are my favourite breed, they're such lovely, good natured, and stunningly beautiful horses.

I was so excited to start showing Auggie, I had a halloween costume planned for him this year even. I was going to take him to gymkhanas and trim his mane into one of those cool designs you can give fjord horses. But I never got the chance to.

Auggie got colic while I was away and my mom called me home that day, saying there was an emergency. He was really really sick and the vet had been trying to save him all day. They were down to the only option, which was to euthanize him so he wouldn't be in so much pain.

I came home, able to do nothing more but say goodbye to him. I am beside myself with grief. Auggie was 15. He was only halfway through what should have been his life. He's the fourth horse I've owned that has died, and the second just within this year.

To make things even worse, my neighbours are trying to convince everyone that we should dig him up and move him somewhere else because he's an 'environmental hazard'. They just don't like that our properties are close enough that they can see where he's buried on their morning walks.

Anyways, I just really needed to write this somewhere, its been a lot for me.

My parents are asking me if I want another horse or not, because they'll buy me a new one if I do, but its just too soon to be deciding that and it only upsets me when they bring it up.